Tag: publishing

Why sad can be beautiful too

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

On writing; on publishing: on life

In February, 2026, my eleventh book will be published, by an award-winning, exciting independent publisher. I have just finished the first in a projected series of commercial fictions – cosy paranormal – and I have a novella out and about. In addition to this, I am reading for a new literary novel and thinking about another. I am the creator of a literary prize for unpaid carers supported by lovely folks across industry, I am about to go to a big publishing event (through my teaching work) and I’m delighted to be seeing some of you in the winter, as I know I will be, at my event at Folkestone Literary Festival. I have fulfilling teaching and mentoring plus a little secondary English. I became Dr Vaught at Christmas.

I have deliberately written this because it is part of the picture and I need to see it and feel it and then explain what follows. You may know that we are very stretched in our family life, that I have had a lot of loss of late (having been launched into the world on that, too) and that, where I live, I’ve/we’ve been subject to a horrendous and baffling bullying campaign, including destruction of parts of our garden. Community policing has supported me well, mindful I have a young person still at home, too, but I don’t feel so safe at home. It has been social media, too; shit thrown into our garden. It has been like a bad dream. I have chronic illness, an extremely ill eldest and two others, one of whom is school age – and the integrity, the sanctity of home is so important. It’s all a bit hard to take in. I am very tired, but my students, my mentees, being myself – call it authenticity, if you like – lovely friends, my gorgeous cousins and in-laws (the latter in the US), writers, reading – writing: here is life. My boys. Mr Bookworm. Always Mr Bookworm. And always, always, there are Wales and the water.

SO, my darlings. What about the books? This is not about writing, but about publishing. I wake up so sad and I think, would it be best to walk away?

I must speak frankly. Out of my ten published books, four are now out of print. A couple of weeks ago, for the second set. One of my publishers closed and did not tell authors. While I was keen to see that the director was alright, it was staggering. Beyond this, I am sitting on lots of unsold rights. Two previous publishers did not want futher work from me, one because my work did not fit with changes afoot for the direction of the publishing house, the other did not want the next book. I am owed royalties by two publishers; one of them I have never had a statement from. I was agented on my fourth book and, eventually, I left my agency because most of what I wrote was not wanted and thus did not go out on submission and books sent on submission were mostly ghosted by editors, with a few rejections which were enormously complimentary. Of course it was amicable! It just plainly was not going anywhere and, in the end, I am not sure why. Lots of agent interest after this – a really lovely bright spot – and then agented again; this agent was then made redundant but not long after had a new job so I was agented again. Then late last week, I learned that, for entirely understandable reasons, they were leaving. I had been waiting for reads and had a strong – I thought – nonfiction proposal out on submission. I understand that was mostly ghosted.

I told you about the Curae prize. It is unique and important. There is no other initiatve anywhere near it for writer-carers. I am glad to have made it. I can tell you that industry press ignored Curae despite repeat emails and that the publishing partner for the prize did not follow through. I do not know why. I found that one hard because it was not about me; nonetheless, it felt embarrassing and shaming. Oh, I find ghosting hard to take these days. You can say you’re busy, but look at what I am spinning and I am frequently poorly and, frankly, really scared. That is not to say that I am special. No. But the ghosting in all spheres is wearing thin for me and hurting me more. And waiting and waiting. Weeks to answer emails. I’m just…I can’t do it any more. No that.

I am not sure how to feel about any of this, because it has been a rough ride. It’s more sad on top of sad. I have had some initial conversations with people about next steps and I sincerely hope I can share some bits of good news soon. And yet and yet. I would love to have someone help me develop my career, to see my books – even if they are the new ones because I am happy for a fresh start – thrive and be more widely available. It has yet to happen. I hear about people being helped with strategy and see friends with one book out doing any number of what you might call big things. Yes I would like a bit of that! On the other hand, it seems very normal not to have it. I have worked so very hard and hustled. At this point, I question to what end and I am going to be brooding a little indulgently on that here and there. Bitter? No. I don’t think I have it in me. Bitterness is corrosive. Also, I need to stay as well as I can for my own sake and those I love and care for. That’s a lot of people.

You saw the first paragraph. Those are all possibilities and they all exist. With very little help and in challenging circumstances, I made them. It is time to say that was pretty brave of me, really. Then the books; writing. People say that after disappointment or things going badly wrong in publishing, they couldn’t write for a while. I have not found that. Not a bit. It just keeps coming. I think this is a blessing. I think, partly because I teach Creative Writing and am kind of…industry adjacent, I separate writing from publishing. It is market. What you can place, what can sell, insofar as anyone knows. You can write something beautiful and it might only sell a few copies because it was not perceived as being maketable so it barely saw the light of day. Industry can get that wrong, of course: it did with my teaching book, The Alchemy, which is widely used and appreeciated, but that is a story for later in the year. I think I am tired of not making much progress, of what I can do – and I can do a lot – not being exploited. Maybe that will change; maybe…it just will not. I do not think I would still be pushing on in any capacity at this stage were it not for Renard Press, whose care for its authors is exemplary and with whom I have built up such a lovely relationship. I am so thankful. They call me Po, you know. Like in Kung Fu Panda? That’s what I am like. I bowl into situations, full of life, with very little elegance but a lot of good intentions and energy. And I like jokes and pals. And dumplings and noodles. I have a lot of energy. I have felt some others try to crush me like the light were an irritation. It is just me trying to give and there are ways of handling that, aren’t there? Renard. Thank you: THANK YOU.

So why is sad beautiful? Because it has its own gentle, melancholy focus. When you write just because you love writing, there is something new and untethered. I have found that having had a rocky run has made me more effective as a Creative Writing mentor and teacher, both in terms of empathy for my mentees and students and because I can give them better advice. I think, also, that in sadness there is a quiet creativity and a bolstering of the imagination. Also, feeling as I do, my work with the Curae prize feels more meaningful than ever and also my friendships with other writers.

Unusually, I do not have the energy to write more today, so let me end by saying that it’s a straight-through online teaching day today – with a break to cook tea for the youngest – and I am so enjoying talking to my writers about their work. I have made a few connections with publishing professionals for myself, but I am not making more than a few. How could I have capacity?

In my in-between times today – the caught moments – I will be reading and reciting all the poems I know by heart; it’s meditative and healing. Strange that this is what first came to my lips, then. Books open on the right pages, poems beckon. Sad can be beautiful too. Here is what I said aloud; it’s from Patrick Kavanagh’s ‘Prelude’.

But satire is unfruitful prayer,
Only wild shoots of pity there,
And you must go inland and be
Lost in compassion’s ecstasy,
Where suffering soars in summer air—
The millstone has become a star.
Count then your blessing, hold in mind
All that has loved you or been kind:

With love,

Anna x

On Burnout

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

Today has been the day when I made decisions. I hope some people out there will find what follows helpful and loving. To you, from me, with hugs. Much of this is publishing industry-related, but in the context of a complex life – and my realisation that I am not meeting my own needs.

(Picture is of me, in one of my favourite places, on St Brides Bay in Pembrokeshire – much of my family is from around here.)

You read about burnout and, while some of what I write will be about industry, this is in the context of my managing life. I feel very tired, but in a way that is not relieved by sleep. I need a broader rest and considerably less stress. So, without going into detail about the care needs and complexities in my family, just know that I am sad and need time and space to offer more loving care and more to myself. Because of my past, I am hyper-vigilant and find it difficult to let go and not be in charge. In short, to respond to life’s demands as if they are not an emergency because much of my early life and key developmental stages were predicated upon threat and emergency. I need time and space to build on the repair work I have done in specialist trauma therapy and EMDR and with meditation practice, yoga and keystones of self-care. I need time to be alone and recharge. It is very rare that I can be; that someone does not need me to do or be something and so, of course, in I rush. But you see, I am already carrying a lot and this is partly trauma response. I want to fix everything. I need to turn back to my immediate family and to myself.

What will this mean? In no particular order…

  1. I have shaved back work to teaching and mentoring for which I am contracted over the next two to three years. If I am waiting for confirmation of an event, the new rule is chase once, no reply, OUT. In other words, I am on time and frequently ahead of deadline out of respect for others. I know doing things when you say you will is not always possible, but it happens so much in publishing – in my experience that is – and the strain has shown on me. So where things are open-ended and I said I needed a decision, I allot a time period and then it’s over.
  2. I am going to start initiating deadlines more often because I just cannot have so many open-ended things happening. This will not always be possible, but I need to be more in charge of timetable where this is possible in order to plan for the care of my immediate family and to have space to respond to need and to crisis.
  3. At the moment, I have five books, including a previously published novella, two nonfiction proposals, a novel and a brand new novella under consideration. I just finished a PhD. Honestly, at no stage have I seriously given myself time to understand the volume of work that was. I need to. I need to celebrate that level of outputting. Just me. I also need to do some writing slowly and some for fun. I am switching partly to digital-first commercial fiction – if they will have me, that is – so that, among other things, the timetable is more predictable. I am feeling the strain.
  4. I realise that I am carrying much grief – for the illness, pain, the long road during which my family has been let down by any number of health and education professionals. It has been and is heart-breaking.
  5. I am just…really disappointed by elements of publishing. I am grieving that, too. But I haven’t allowed it properly. I’ve been thinking it’s trivial to have got upset, but it DOES bother me that most of my books (there is shining exception) have not been promoted much, have been ignored, that communications have been so poor, that a beautiful book sits there with stacks of unsold rights which I cannot access to sell, that I have never got funding, that I am chasing royalty statements, that Curae and the young carers’ project didn’t get funding, that I have been so let down by the industry press and by some industry professionals on the Curae prize. It’s a ground-breaking initiative for unpaid carers, for heaven’s sake. I need to grieve all that – the time wasted, only I couldn’t have known. The situations and people who just…ought to have been better.
  6. I want to find time to recharge so that I can appreciate blessings more acutely – because there are many. Teaching is the joy of my life, for example. And I actually get paid for doing something which means that much to me.
  7. I found that with my out of office on, publishing and writing folks still filled up my inboxes across socials because they need help. I don’t think I have anything spare right now. I also realised that, much as I adore people, socials were depleting my energy. I feel compelled to stay in touch and also, partly through not having been promoted as a writer, I feel compelled to always be ON. Engaged. But I’m too tired. I can’t keep this up any more. All apps off my home screen, and possibly will come off my phone, but it’s not practical just yet.
  8. I realise that I am going to have to cut a few ties, frankly. Though I am an adult, I am still seeking approval from family members who will never approve of me because my own mother didn’t approve of me and the lie settled. It’s still there. I’ve had enough now. There are other people in my life whose demands on me exceed what I am able to give; it’s tough to say, but it’s time.
  9. I want to concentrate on beauty, breathing, my kids, books, hearth and home. You may know, if you’ve kept an eye on me elsewhere, that over the past year for reasons we don’t know, threatening behaviour has happened towards me in my own home and an area of my garden was vandalised. I have not felt safe at home for some time, but I have spent the past few months strengthening boundaries, adding lights, security cameras, being supported by the community policing team and the council, who have been delightful, and by my lovely local community. We don’t know who has done this or why. For someone who comes from a trauma background, to feel invaded in this way by persons unknown has been very stressful. You see another reason I feel burned out? I haven’t felt sanctuary.
  10. I want and need to simplify my life and ringfence time to be alone and to heal. To build the strength to bear sorrow with more equanimity. That will not impact my work, which is teaching and mentoring, but it will in terms of my toleration for others’ demands, people flaking on projects, and open-ended publishing situations. I need shape and structure in a chaotic and restlessly sad world, so I can find my way back home. So I can find myself.

Bringing you up to date on Bookworm Vaught’s activities!

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

Well now what have we got going on? First thing is that I have a nonfiction book out on agency submission. I have actually proposed a series, but it can be a standalone book. It’s literary self-help, a short book each time, and on each occasion an area of literature and a theme to help with a particular ill, or something we might need. Anyway, it’s called Dr Bookworm Prescribes and plays with the idea of a sort of…apothecary; a bibliotherapist. Close readings, but only short ones – ideas; all kinds of fun and consolation.

AND THEN…

On Monday night I handed my new fiction to my agent. This is a psychological drama; a novella. It’s dark and weird and, while you can tell it’s me, the style is simpler and leaner than that of previous books. I started writing this last year and put it aside for a while, and then finished it quite quickly this month. It’s called All The Days I Did Not Live. Will she like it?

AND MEANWHILE…

The judges are reading the entries for the 2025 Curae prize for unpaid carers. I have read all the entries and they are reading in batches. I feel that, across poetry, fiction and nonfiction, there are some standout entries: the ones I just cannot stop thinking about. But mine is not the only decision and, mid April, we will get together and make our list. Shortlist is published on the 1st of May.

AND AT THE SAME TIME…

My first two books are out of print and the publisher closed. I have my rights back. I am not sure what to do with the first book (auto-fiction), but U have offered the second one to a delightful indie publisher I adore TOGETHER WITH a strange little historical fiction and magical realism mash-up that my previous agency didn’t like AND a nonfiction proposal, which could be a book OR could be commuted to something essay length. We shall see.

AND I WONDER…

I always like to be working on something, but I am taking my time with this next one and, to be brutally honest, going all-out for the market by attaching the book to a known oeuvre – and that’s all I am saying other than F. Scott Fitzgerald.

AND FINALLY…

You may have been expecting the follow-up to 2023’s kindle bestseller The Alchemy…originally slated for this autumn, The Elixir has been moved, at my request, to 2025 on account of not being superhuman. I will be working on that this year, too.

NONE OF THIS IS MY DAY JOB!

2023 – it’s a busy old year

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

What have we done so far and what’s still to come?

March saw my memoir – it is NOT an easy read, but call it a pretty one! I will offer links direct to publishers if you’d like to get any of these:

These Envoys of Beauty

March also saw the translation into Italian of my 2020 novel, Saving Lucia – Bang Bang Mussolini –

Bang Bang Mussolini

https://8ttoedizioni.com/prodotto/bang-bang-mussolini-lamicizia-immaginata-tra-lucia-joyce-e-violet-gibson/

Just out, The Zebra and Lord Jones, a new novel of magical realism. As I write, we are getting ready for the release of The Alchemy, my first teaching book, which comes with its own platform, and then in November, the anthology of winning entries from the inaugural Curae prize, which I made specifically for writer and would-be writer-cares. For All three of the following books, head over to Renard Press. https://renardpress.com/https://

The book above is the result of the Curae prize for writer-carers which I launched in 2022. It had such wonderful support from across industry. If you can, come to our launch night? It’s free but you have to book.

https://www.outsavvy.com/event/16910/the-curae-online-launch-evening

In just over a week, I start a PhD by Published Works at York St John University. It is on magical realism, the imagination and trauma, and foregrounds my own These Envoys of Beauty and Saving Lucia, together with briefer focus on five other books, alongside contemporary magical realism fiction and literature on trauma across various disciplines.

I can tell you a little about my July 2024 book, To Melt the Stars, which is a collection all about love. You can read about that here! https://www.thebookseller.com/rights/broken-sleep-books-snaps-up-vital-essay-collection-from-vaught

What else? I had a strong nonfiction proposal put together, Lipstick. A Cultural and Emotional History and, in all honesty, following agent and publisher feedback, it is not going to be saleable as a book. I am not a journalist, I do not work in fashion and beauty and I am not a cultural historian. Nonfiction is a particularly hard sell at the moment, so it’s just no go. I cannot top and tail it with memoir and scholarship because I do not have a relevant platform. However…I like to think whether I can reuse and repurpose so the plan is to publish it as a monograph instead! A long essay. I am delighted to tell you that I do have an offer of publication for early 2025. News as and when I can.

I am in the process of writing a new novel, All the Days I did not Live, having put down a few other things, and as I write, I am going to be head down on that for a week. I also made the decision to seek to change literary agency – this happens a lot, if you were wondering – so I am in discussions about that at the moment. Finally, I am away from social media for a whole year: time and space. To breathe. So much has happened in the past few years in work, and books and in my personal life – it feels good so far.

More news as it happens and, this week, I am will be resurrecting my Substack newsletter. About time!

Love and books,

Anna

xxx

On Imposter syndrome – writing and publishing. A short, bolstering post

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

Now, many people feel this: writing, not to mention actually publishing your work, feels like it’s something for folks known as OTHERS. You know; the other people, for whom this is all a breeze; the people who have their stuff together and who know so much more than you. They’re better read, more connected, more clever, more everything and OBVIOUSLY better writers.

There are deep and uncomfortable reasons why you – we! – may feel this way, but I said short and bolstering, so here we go. First it is common to feel this way. Then, I suspect it is part of the human condition to feel like an outsider and it can feel scary – get in, or you will be eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger – to be on the outside of something. So learn to accept these feelings and breathe through them. Then, know that doubt about your role, life and, to stay on topic, writing, are natural. Doubt is a function of intellect because you are examining what you are doing. I’d argue it makes you a better writer. It’s also part of self-reflection, of being self-aware and, frankly, of empathy.

DO YOU KNOW WHO CAUSES ALL THE PROBLEMS INCLUDING IN PUBLISHING AND THE WRITING COMMUNITY?

Yes, it’s the arrogant twats. The people who feel like they have it all together and know what they are doing, impervious to change, prompt from others and, frankly, worse at their work for this and frequently damaging. It’s true in all walks of life, I would argue.

Fortunately, my darling, you are not an arrogant twat. Look at you there with your impostery hotness.

Plough on, tell people you feel this way, know that it is natural and, most importantly, do not let it chew you up so you cannot write. Doubt, gone a long way, can eviscerate your sense of self, of vocation. It makes dust of your creativity, so keep an eye on it and don’t let it go so far. Write through it, talk about it, talk back to it and here is a glittering merit sticker for a job well done.

Claim your spot. Yes, there is clearly work to be done in the publishing industy, but there is room for you.

The year ahead in BEAUTIFUL BOOKS

by Anna Vaught, posted in books, bookshops

OOH. March 6th in Italy and we are on tour, Milan to Trieste, 12th to 16th April. Published by Milan’s own 8tto Edizione, the translation of 2020’s Saving Lucia

Then, March 31st, Reflex Press, my memoir

September 27th, my new novel. Renard Press, UK and Commonweralth

And finally, on October 25th, same publisher, my first book on writing

More as it happens – just thought I’d pop these side by side for you x

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, hopes and dreams, building and some frank admissions

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

Coming for 2023,

On the 6th of March, the Italian publication of 2020’s novel, Saving Lucia. Title and cover reveal in the new year, plus details of the April Italian tour, beginning in Milan. This is the UK edition, with Bluemoose books. Still time to read. Then 8tto Edizione

Then on 31st March, my memoir comes out. Trauma, survival and the imagination, kid up, explored over twelve essays on the natural world. Reflex Press.

On the 27th of September, my new novel, The Zebra and Lord Jones, is out with Renard Press as UK and Commonwealth (excluding Canada) edition. Plenty of news to come in the new year and this is currently on US submission.

Then, on the 25th of October, my first book on writing, The Alchemy is out – also awaiting cover. This is very specifically about gentle productivity and writing your book in less than ideal circumstances. This book was recently acquired, like The Zebra and Lord Jones, by Renard Press.

Through the year, you have various pieces of work from me – such as my Mslexia column!

On January 10th, join me here!

Also, in the new year, if you fancy joining me – and the fab team – come and work on your novel for a year; applications open in early 2023 and the new course starts in March. Image below is for the one I am currently teaching on.

On 1st of January, the Curae Prize opens for first submissions. This is a new literary award I have set up, with brilliant support from people across the publishing industry, for writer and would-be writer-carers.

Key dates:

Opens to subs:

1/01

Subs close

1/03

Shortlist

1/05

Two winners announced

1/06

https://thecuraeprize.uk/

THE CURAE PRIZE

A writing prize – just for writers who are also carers

It is my dream that I go on to build out from this – educational platforms and opportunities for young carers – and, ideally, for carers around the world. We have to see how well this first year goes first!

As to my hopes and dreams? I truly think, eight books published in seven years – by the end of 2023 and one in translation, plus two major columns and over forty features – well…I truly think that if I were going to be a star from my writing and have a big profile, I would have done it with this ouput. I was very sad about this, but then I reminded myself that, in order, I am teacher, reader, writer.

And before all of that, mum.

As to my hopes and dreams? I truly think, eight books published in seven years – by the end of 2023 and one in translation, plus two major columns and over forty features – well…I truly think that if I were going to be a star from my writing and have a big profile, I would have done it with this ouput. I was very sad about this, but then I reminded myself that, in order, I am teacher, reader, writer.

And before all of that, mum.

Things looked very different! I felt much more optimistic and began seeing possibilities.

There are additional needs within my family and it has become clearer to me that focus needs to adjust and I will need to be hands on and flexible, perhaps permanently. We have had no additional support and have been through significant trauma over a long period owing to this. To be frank, I have to plan and to anticipate and there are too many fluid, unpredictable bits in publishing for someone who has additional demands plus a day job – and I also manage chronic illness. I am sure you get the picture. So I am working sideways, instead. It took me months to recover from a novel being comprehensively ghosted by editors. I had not understood that ghosting – a practice of which I disapprove – went on beyond the query stage. Seeing this in action has made me reappraise my approach, partly because I do not have the bandwidth for it. I have so many ideas; so many books I want to write, but the issue is not the writing, but where I meet industry. Thus, while I have a number of books out in 2023, my focus going forward and beyond is teaching and the Curae. With the exception of sending a book of essays out on query in mid February! And unless I get a nice US deal, or someone wants to make a film – or anything which is a big splash in that way. I will be talking about moving sideways and the portfolio concept; being nimble and flexible. I aim to connect it both to The Alchemy and to the Curae. I aim to put in place for others what I needed.

With much love to you all,

Come and find me here: https://twitter.com/BookwormVaught

https://www.instagram.com/bookwormvaught6/

In the new year, you will be able to find me and mine on Booktok too.

Anna x

The best piece of publishing advice ever?

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized
Photo by Nitin Arya on Pexels.com

Here it is.

Think of all your creative endeavours as ONE BIG PROJECT.

In other words, do not pin your hopes on one book. Actually, do not pin all your hopes on the query, the acquisition of an agent or an indie publisher sans agent who will stick with you; do not pin all your hopes on the success of said book, a linear and clearly burgeoning career and further books following on from that and, PLEASE, do not pin your self-worth of any of the things I just described OR sit around thinking that if you don’t have recognition it isn’t worth it; you’re no good. (I have done all of these things until someone gave me the advice and then I tweaked my thought and began to feel better.)

Now, it may be that you are lucky enough to find artistic and commercial success quickly, to find and develop a niche for yourself and to be able to form/be given a team around you with which you can nurture your talent. I KNOW that a good number of writers are in this position, but I would bet that the vast majority of writers are not.

My seventh and eighth books have just been placed. Well, seven years ago I hadn’t started a book, so I know I have the ability to be prolific. BUT MY GOD. There have been some wonderful adventures in that time and I have made some brilliant friends and discovered many wonderful things to read, but until I tweaked my thought I would feel really wounded by two episodes of bad treatment that seemed to come from nowhere, the exasperation of waiting and ghosting, of publishers not wanting a second book from me (see waiting again) and of books that weren’t good enough to take forward. I have yet to have a breakthrough book in that I have not been particularly visible yet in not having been with a major publisher. And yet and yet.

The one big project. If you think of it as a series of creative endeavours, things begin to look different. Two books have led on to two years’ teaching, university teaching and workshops. I have pitched and written features and columns for national and industry press and kept a focus on mental health and wellbeing; as a result of that focus, I have been asked to take on further columns and workshops and to speak to university students about imaginative routes to publication and lots more. Because I have written all of my books – and particularly in the past three years – managing additional needs for my family and then my son was very ill for three years, and because I was teaching all that time, I have been asked to speak to MA students on time and on productivity; I have written a new book on gentle productivity and just set up a literary prize for carers. Do you see how all these things are connected, and that I might argue I can likely do them better because I wrote in hardcore circumstances and have not had a smooth path? Like I said, no breakout book, publishers not wanting further work and, at one point, my agent removing rights from a publisher. Rocky!

So, if you are feeling blue, look at the possibilities of what you might do to make YOUR one big creative project. Writing in other forms and genres? Offering copywriting and editing, mentoring, gradually accruing some teaching, doing an online discussion group, making an online themed retreat – just for starters! Don’t make it only about one book or about your books. When you shift your thought and begin to hustle and then to jostle sideways, things begin to look very different.

Will you write and tell me how you got on?

Anna.

Author burnout

by Anna Vaught, posted in mental health, Uncategorized, writing

It may be that you saw a recent slew of articles in the industry press on burnout in the publishing industry. I then did my best to dovetail with pieces in The Bookseller on this – you can read what I had to say here:

https://www.thebookseller.com/comment/under-pressure-the-authors-perspectiv

Here is the first paragraph of my article:

First let us define burnout. The World Health Organisation, which classified it in 2019, conceptualises the syndrome as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It has three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy. When it comes to authors and this definition, it’s important to remember that our workplace is often our home, and the site of a multi-strand freelance career, which can make things harder, rather than easier; I personally have experienced all these feelings over the past three years while launching two books in lockdown, being unwell, home-schooling, teaching online, and being a carer. Writing can make for quite an isolating as well as an overwhelming life, especially in times of strife.

So there is a definition.

Then, I was able to suggest some things we might do to support ourselves, but in a short piece I could not offer much detail. So that’s what I want to do now. If you are feeling rotten, exhausted, what might you do?

  1. First line of defence – and I am not a medical or mental health professional, but these are things I know: if you feel you are in crisis and you are frightened, remember that The Samaritans are there twenty four hours and here is a link. There are ways to access help beyond calling and these are outlined here: https://www.samaritans.org You may be aware of the text line SHOUT but here: https://giveusashout.org/ – this is twenty four hour text support. I also offer you this next page, because there are further resources and it also lists urgent mental health care routes in your area: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/ Promise me you will not ever be embarrassed about being scared, feeling vulnerable or needing help? Human beings get ill; they have tipping points. Here are some starting points if things have got very bad and you don’t know what to do. Emotions are massive unwieldy things for a start, no-one is invulnerable and it is estimated that, at any one time, one in four people in the UK is coping with a mental health problem. It may be that you are overwhelmed and exhausted and what you need are rest and pals and respite; or it could be that this needs input. I think it’s important to say that it need not be your call: I have been in and out of mental health care for decades and this is something I would say. On two occasions I got extremely ill and because I had things to do, kids to look after, classes to teach, I did not ask for help soon enough: it resulted in people needing to advocate for me because I fell apart and could not verbalise what was going on. For me, that’s bad! So yes: promise me that you will take action and not feel embarrassed, that someone else’s need is greater or that you ought to toughen up or you’re probably okay really. Bravery is actually asking for help. Now, in more specific terms, that is, in terms of being an author, what might you do? I am going to have to approach this one rather broadly, because being an author may mean that you are first querying work, that you are more established, or that you have stalled. That’s a lot of situations. Some things that I have done, because of feeling awful, have included everything on this bullet list…
  2. Evolve a group of writers at similar stages. Your tribe. It can be online: put the call out on twitter and do not be shy. You could have a writing support group through twitter DMs or WhatsApp, say, considering which option feels best. When people are very down or overwhelmed, the tap tap and pressure to keep up in an online group can be too much, so you could all set some parameters for what is helpful.
  3. Compare and despair. Look: I regularly see people with the opportunities and exposure with one book and after one book (and no other writing) that I have yet to access after many articles, pieces in the national press, a column in the industry press and seven books either published or coming to press. Is it fair? Well no, you could say not, but it’s common, just as it’s common in life. If you are expecting parity of this sort, you’ve come to the wrong industry! Possibly the wrong planet! So you can allow resentment to curdle here or you can smile (I KNOW it is hard) and understand that everyone has a different route in writing and publishing. You do not know what will happen further down the line after a magnificent debut with full voltage exposure, just as you do not really know what else is going on in that person’s life. Be generous and also be kind to yourself. As I said, compare and despair. Plough your own furrow here. If you reiterate to yourself how unfair it is, you will suffer creatively and become – which I know, because it happened to me – less buoyant and more vulnerable. It is hard, but focus on you.
  4. Now, people may write, oh take a break. But that is predicated on privilege and, frequently, ableism, and the assumption that we can all get out for a run, or a weekend away. I have tried to rethink this, so it is the case of finding time and support in your mind supported by, as far as possible, being in and honouring your body as best you can (which you are also not going to beat yourself up about right?) How might you repeat helpful things to yourself, praise yourself? How might you develop that quality of rest? Think about that and do it. Write it down if need be. Because of the serious challenges my family and I have had to face over the past few years, I have had to recalibrate and rethink the notion of success. So, for example, while other families were putting their amazing holiday pictures on socials, I was focusing on the maxim, ‘Everybody fed, nobody dead’ at Bookworm Towers. Do the same with your writing. It takes courage to put your creative work out there, for example: never stop reminding yourself of that. As treats, be very kind to yourself in your head. If I do this, it is like a tiny holiday and it makes me feel less tired. It all helps.
  5. It is trite as hell, but live in the moment as much as you can to minimise panic and overwhelm. You can never BE in the future, up ahead, and the past is a different country: it was and there’s nothing you can do about it now. Focus on right now: what you can do, in this moment, to make yourself feel better. Because I have had a very ill offspring, I have had to do that. I didn’t at first, but exhaustion claimed me. Things are scarier when you are always anticipating and, in my experience, getting too stuck in anticipation leads to catastrophising. Feel free to disagree.
  6. Try using the Kaizen method – google it but there are a number of books (around £2-3 second-hand; I just checked) – where you think about making very small positive changes – VERY small – to change your attitude or practice. That could be a simple to-do list you set down for writing goals; a small piece of industry research. The point is small. It’s all you need to keep moving.
  7. If you are burning out or think you have burned out because of others’ unkindness in the industry – cutting to the chase here, in seven years I have encountered a handful of shockers – take it to your tribe (point 2, above) and don’t be shy about joining and telling a union. In my case Society of Authors – such as here https://societyofauthors.org/advice There is a range of guides, but you can also call and write to them about a specific matter. Something that caused me a great deal of upset led me to ask for help and they replied in considerable detail to everything and also outlined how a professional complaint might be made. My point here is two-fold: don’t suffer alone and, also reclaim some power – which brings me to the next point…
  8. Rejection happens at all stages, whether you are first querying or a few books in. Some have an easier road of it than others but, as in point 3, compare and despair. So know that this is normal and natural. It is actually ghosting and being ignored – from first queries to full books sent to commissioning editors by your agent – which floors me. I got extremely low about this. Talk about it, but look at what you can do – because this is disappointing and feels disempowering, yes? (And I should say, cope with rejection by always being working on something else, at however tentative a stage.) What I have done now in response to the ghosting is to set deadlines in my mind and then move on. In some cases. I have begun, very politely, to ask for deadlines when I have queried independently. For agency work, I’ve asked that we do the same. It has been a way of reclaiming some power.
  9. Don’t see patterns where there are none. It is very easy to assume that because it has been tough, it will always be tough; even to connect other areas of your life where you have screwed up and connect that to feeling terrible as an author. But life is not a place where everything happens for a reason; it is full of happenstance and changes, small and radical, and tomorrow can be different from today. That is easy to forget, isn’t it? I believe that human beings mess most things up and I am absolutely sure that most creative projects fail – because creative endeavour is full of risk. I would say, start each day – each moment – afresh and then it is easier to spot opportunities; to be as positive as you can be. This is something I have been practising in order to feel lighter.
  10. Reading. I am a reader before I am a writer. I think of reading as my saviour, so if you are burned out, increase or vary your reading and into your life will come new forms of beauty, new worlds and new ideas. And do you know, I talk a lot about gentle productivity, so I want to emphasise that it is in play here: you are also working – writing – when you are reading, even though you don’t notice it. Nourishing your imagination, your core; relaxing into it and finding a myriad ways of looking at the world.

With much love and remember that you are not alone,

Anna xxx

My Writing Year

by Anna Vaught, posted in Uncategorized

I was wondering if I had enough to say here! That is, I’ve tweeted quite a bit of it, in personal terms there is only so much I can say without breaching confidences and in writing about the difficulties of the publishing year that are particular to my work, I would rather move on positively as there so many blessings! Some things were connected with timing; others with having little control over situations. But chin up, I thought! I will keep this short and do write and share your thoughts, if you like?

I was mildly ill with cold-like symptoms in early March, as were my husband and one of my three kids. At this point my eldest had been seriously unwell, so we were navigating difficult times before Covid and so marched on. I will come back to that! With advice – a lot of it from the brilliant people you meet on twitter – and a great community, we could cope. When the pandemic began, I had all three at home and then was responsible for home learning with the youngest and access to ongoing support we really needed with eldest ebbed away. I had a book out imminently, Saving Lucia. The launch was cancelled and there were no other events, barring my involvement in the fantastic Lockdown festival and a turn for SL on some online events. I was devastated, but decided it was best kept in context because of what folk were going through, though I still had to acknowledge that it mattered to me because I had waited two and half years for publication from acceptance. It helped so very much to connect with readers, read extracts from the book and think about my new book having a long life – beyond this time. I found someone to have mentoring chats with and that really helped. Also, to write short pieces related to my books for various journals and for my blog. Keeping it moving and lively as much as I was able. BECAUSE the other thing that happened was that I was not well and I have not been for about 9 months now. Hello Long Covid. You remember I mentioned the cold-like symptoms in early March? AArgh. Chest pain, vertigo, shortness of breath and hello fatigue like I had never experienced it.

Once Saving Lucia was out, I decided what I needed to do was focus on the book under construction. I had seen my lovely agent in February, shortly before she went on maternity, and had great edits and notes. I do believe you should always be working on something, because there are a lot of waiting, planning and, I think, variables in writing and publishing. Between April and August, I rewrote my novel and began plotting another one, The Cabinet of Curiosities. Just as I finished this run of The Zebra and Lord Jones, I won the publishing and writing section of Creative Bath, which was great because it was a broad acknowledgement of what I am trying to do with my volunteer and community work alongside my writing. Then, in September, Famished was out. Again, I found it wonderful to focus on engagement with readers, to offer readings of the book and to work diligently on social media. We had a lovely launch event and then – very 2020 – Instagram went down shortly after it started. Very important to laugh, my bravehearts!

When all is said and done, I am immensely proud to have been part of two little teams and to have met so many brilliant people. Also, I think, to have been building new and enduring friendships because of the books, because of a shared love of reading and, frankly, because I have had to ask for help in navigating what is still a new world to me alongside work, domestic stress, exhaustion and illness. I am immensely proud that we got two books out this year, that I rewrote another one and, frankly, that I coped as well as I did when a further novel and volume of short stories were turned down this year and I was told rights and translation were not shifting. This happens; it’s natural. But it’s hard! But we made a plan and hopefully it will come to fruition.

So, The Zebra and Lord Jones (novel) rewritten, I began a new novel, The Cabinet of Curiosities and made some – for me! – major pitches for features. I also tentatively began plans for a non-fiction book I am passionate about doing. Where are we as we stand? I have to be vague about a lot of this as you can imagine, so I will say that I am working on this pitch, making approaches to people, keeping in touch with my agent and that there is a lot of work on desk. Recently, I was longlisted for the new Barbellion prize – you can read about the prize here – https://www.thebarbellionprize.com/ for Saving Lucia and, in four books and lots of entries for prizes, it is my first longlisting and I am delighted.

During this year, I have also been fortunate both to work on several manuscripts with writers, to mentor and, also, to receive some mentoring myself from kind, brilliant and inspiring people whom I will not embarrass here. And for 2021, well…as I said, there is a lot on the desk and I know that we will be clarifying, planning and strategising. As I am still not better and because I still have complexities within my home life – and quite possibly I will have 2/3 not going back to school and college (the other is on a rather uneventful gap year before studying Psychology at university) – I need to pace. I have made some PhD applications – that is, a PhD by Publication to be worked on with three of my own books – but it will not be the end of the world if it does not happen; far from it. In a terrible year, there is, if I may say, already so much that I am thankful for.

Much love,

Anna x